What drives folks to say “I’m right… you’re wrong …? I’m perplexed! We’re tested every day, face-to-face, by calls, through emails, and even texts. Subconsciously we strive to be right and prove another wrong. A behavior we use to correct folks in business and personal relationships, or at least point out, what they can do better to belong.
Ego drives “me versus you” to be right in supporting our need to be the ultimate repairer. So, believing another needs improvement is an instinctive driver to point out… everyone else’s error. Ironically though, when others challenge us we react with anger and resentment, clearly sabotaging any chance of cooperation and commitment.
One side ALWAYS loses in the “who’s right… who’s wrong game. Finger pointing simply ignites a mistrusting and conflicting flame. Controlling our egotistical desires markedly encourages resolution and respect, for another’s ideas nurturing relationships to better connect.
If always being right is our rule than during adolescence we likely were separated from healthy experiences of being loved and admired. This detachment created protective beliefs and biases that formed our view of the world where only “what WE think” is truly desired.
Survival for identity forced us to grow from an ego-directed place where to feel secure “me” buttons are pushed to put others down… a strategy that removes fear of “losing me…” by elevating ourselves to the big cheese in town.
When it comes to recognizing Buttons We Don’t Push and Places We Don’t Go we must own that instinctively we crave to be right, while being wrong is a threatening place best kept out of sight.
It’s a Funny Feeling to know successful management of our need to control… nurtures leadership, connectivity, and cooperation that serves to EXCITE… A position that acknowledges Buttons We Don’t Push and Places We Don’t Go is a behavior where two wrongs just don’t make a RIGHT…
Copyright Alan P. Xenakis, MD